Saying goodbye for the last time

After a few months, Creator did not make it happen.
It gave me something, it took back something, and finally It returned me back with something.
It's like, "Hey, I need this back." "But I need it so much at the moment." "Since you need it so badly, take it back."(you know it was a used trash, telling me blindly)
I have figured out that Creator will always want the best for me and I do appreciate that.

Dear Creator, thanks for being very kind and very nice to me.
Especially things did not work at Harbourfront, I have my CBD back. :)
Thank you so much.
I also figured out the relation I had was toxic, but I refused to wake up. But I will now, I do now. Thank you :)

So for the last time,
"In fact, I got an offer to harbourfront. Seems like I have an answer now to decline when it's processing :) Just thought we could be closer, unfortunately you don't feel the same as I do for you. Words that you said don't count for every seconds or moments, I am sure you dont truly mean what you said when we were together :) That is fine.

I think I will always be alone so I guess the only solution for me is to go back to the isolation mode; being reclused. That is for the best.

So I wish u all the best for your upcoming future. Take care and good luck :) "

I wish you well Vahan, as long as you happy and healthy, I will be glad for you...
I am tired of your games and your words. I never wanted anything from you, just your care.
At least, I know we have something in common: you know I wouldn't ignore you, vice versa.

Also, thanks Cindy for making this to happen! In the meantime, thanks for making this not to happen at the same time! :)

Exactly one year onwards:

We had buffet. Plenty of food at Tung Lok Restautant.

Patrick drove us up and it was like 11ish storey high!

Same place, same location, same people, same food, different people, different seats, different food, different taste.
It has been a year-ish!
Fayssal! I wondered how are you doing! I miss you so much! I just want you to be safe!

Heinz, I love you. I still love you. I love you a lot. You came in to my life as an angel of god. You made me today. If you never happened in my life, I wouldn't have become what I am today. I hope you read this, maybe the chance is slim, and we could get back soon. You always make the right decision even if it's for me...

I am back on track. 

Long gone happiness

I was out with Lev yesterday. He was saying, it doesn't make any sense when we just chat and couldn't meet. He has a point. 

So we met at City Hall and went to Marina Bay Sands whilst walking again! Nightmare and so stubborn.. Lol. 

I was pretty upset yesterday.. But ah well, glad we met. 

We were at the Padang and saw a little small crocodile swimming there. It was just so cute! 

I took this at 19ish! :)

Just chatting and not much, I am too boring for him. He is very different from Vahan. Of course, everyone is different. In fact, I was thinking about my happy moments with Fayssal. :)

I wondered a lot about Fayssal that I dreamt of him! It was a long conversation between me and Fayssal in the dream, that he was finally back again and we met again :) 

Really very happy moments... Maybe because I went to the place where us used to walk..

The problem I realised is, no matter what kind of persons I met, they will never be the same like Fayssal... because everyone is different :( 

To be honest, I am still not over it- Dubai. I told Sasha as well but ah well yeah... I even told her about the second reason going to Dubai is because of Fayssal. I meant come on, since you would be there, might as well take the opportunity to find him as well! Just want to know he is safe and that's all and nothing else!!! 

I really thought about Fayssal. And listening to Justin Timberlake- Mirrors. 

"If you ever feel alone and the glare makes me hard to find 

Just know that I'm always parallell on the other side"

I just can't wait till my trip to Vietnam! Oh yes, Fayssal would be shocked to know if I would be travelling again! That just what I always do! :)
I told Thong and I really thought he booked a hotel for me there and he was planning to fetch me because he would be working that day at HCM. What a coincidence and luckily he didn't book for me otherwise, why is my liberty?! 

Random thoughts again

A bit drunk. Normally I have screwdrivers with plenty of vodkas. Sometimes it's a 1/4 orange juice and and sometimes it's a 1/2.

I just had Sprite and vodka with a 1/2. Pretty drunk, pretty bad, pretty sober, pretty lethargic whilst typing.

I really don't know why I kept dreaming about Vahan. He doesn't even want or bother to contact me and yet I still think of him, our happy moments and even dreamt of him daily... I just want this friendship back... I don't even dare to text him because I was afraid of the answer.

And I don't even know where Heinz is and Fayssal. Heinz doesn't even care about me anymore I guess. Fayssal the same as well.

Even on the train, I saw people using iphones to watsapp their friends, logged onto Facebook to chat with their friends, and I am just listening to music and thinking. I guess I am going to be alone forever...

I haven't find myself yet... Reasons why I have been out lately to all these attractions were because I want to find myself. I even prayed to ask for signals and doing some soul searching. Sometimes even doing the same routine, over and over again. Hoping things will change and be back the same. Not sure whether will it happen again...

My teacher has always wanted me to be contented, grateful and thankful for what I have. Heinz taught me these life experiences as well.

I have been listening to Mad Season, too much of them that I forgotten about Nine Inch Nails. To be honest, Trent launched his new album and I was pretty excited. As soon as I listened to his new full album, I really don't know what he was singing about. It was like getting bad-er :( I don't know, maybe I will listen to him someday again. He has changed... But I have not...

Trying to run away again. I don't know whether I should or not.. Haven't made up my mind yet...

A walk to the Satay by The Bay

So I took the bus yesterday to Satay by The Bay. That was my first time there! I was pretty excited. I just want to explore around during my stay here in CBD.

Satay by the Bay entrance

It was located just next to Gardens by The Bay. I thought there is going to be a row of restaurants but it is a food court featuring all the local delicacies. I had chicken rice. The staff or the stall vendors were pretty polite and nice. The food court is pretty wide and big. I guessed it would be very crowded at night. 

It is pretty quiet in the noon and the free shuttle bus is being sponsored by Satay by The Bay for the people in CBD to come here for lunch. 

Sometimes, I think running a business in F&B might be tough. It all depends on the quality of the food, the quantity of the food and the location as well. But one thing I love about F&B are the people. They are very hardworking people as my mum was one of them as well.

I am still trying to explore the areas around Satay by The Bay.

Hippopotamus beside Satay by The Bay

The bridge brought me closer to Gardens by The Bay 

The pond. It seems pretty dirty and the leaves were turning more yellowish. 

Buffaloes at work! 

Going towards Gardens by The Bay. 

Just taking a photo of myself :) Windy day! I was glad it didn't rain!

I saw the Singapore Flyer! I have never seated at the Singapore Flyer before, I was there last year for a job interview but it didn't happen and I was glad. Just suddenly thought of Fayssal. We had the intention to go up there but it was pretty expensive and that time for the both of us, so we didn't go. I am just very happy whenever I thought of the both of us. :) In fact, back then I was really happy. Ah well, life still has to go on... 

That was only a walk through in Satay by The Bay. I haven't have got the time to go to Gardens by The Bay yesterday, otherwise, I would have missed the bus. In fact, I took the shutter bus today and went to Gardens by The Bay. So stay tuned, I will be updating soon!

A Walk at The Promotory at Marina Bay

I took this in the morning! I was looking at the Google Map and I really wondered how to go to Marina Bay Sands in five minute! How am I supposed to go from Tanjong Pagar to Shenton Way to Maxwell to Central boulevard... It always takes me 15 minutes to there. 

Shakshuoka

Finally, I went to Pita & Olives. It was a nightmare when they don't accept cards but cash. I ordered Shakshuoka and waited for like 15-20minutes. The boss said it's only available in Israel and they are from Israel of course. I asked where he is from and he pronounced it in Arabic! Lol. I was really confused till he showed me the words there, they even have a poster of Jerusalem. Israel is one of my favourtie places as well and it is in one of my travel lists. 

The restaurant is pretty small and quiet. I like the environment pretty much but it is a bit crumpy. Of course it is a little bit slow. Hmmm I am still trying to decide whether I should go here regularly or Urban Bites. Unfortunately they don't offer set lunch as compared to Urban Bites and my favourite lamb and namoura! I am not sure how Halva taste, when he showed it to me, it doesn't look appealing though. 

Meanwhile I was sitting and waiting for the arrival of my shakshuka, there came two Israelis and one of them is arab I am sure. The funny was, due to the lack of space, he seated opposite to me with his colleague I presumed. He asked me how was the food that he was ordering the same as me. I told him it was good. To be honest, it tastes pretty nice and I like it, but I do not like the waiting time. I wondered why I thought he was Fayssal?! I hope I will meet him again. 

On a second thought, I might go to Satay by the Bay since there's a free shuttle bus to there during lunchtime in CBD. So I don't know, we will see. I wanted to go today but the bus doesn't come so I went to the washroom and it left without me! :( 

Then I went to Thian Hock Keng temple to pray as well as visiting the Seng Hon Beo Temple.

The weather was very beautiful yesterday at 18h15. I took some shots again and I went to the The Promotory @ Marina Bay again. I think I will be going there everyday. I just want to see the weather and the tall buildings, also to remember the old times I have once shared with Fayssal. I just want to be happy...

Reflection of Marina Bay Sands from the Marina Bay Finance Centre Tower. This would be a perfect shot if the man did not walk passed!! 

OUE Bayfront

Look! I am at The Promotory @ Marina Bay walking towards Marina Bay Sands! The weather was just extremely beautiful...

The Sail @ Marina Bay

Here was where the sun started to set and it wasn't so nice anymore... But I still love it! 

This platform wasn't made before me and Fayssal last came here!

There is also a carnival running for these few days! They are just mini ones, designed for the children. Flea market is for the adults.

Mini carousel

I love Marina Bay so much!!

Days Spent in Newton

 Bye Newton. I am sorry. I didn't expect this to happen, as much as I did not want to...

These past weeks that I have spent with everyone were priceless. These people were kind, humane, and helpful. I love them very much. This is something that I have never experienced throughout my life.

Tian shared most of his life experiences with me and also most of the jokes.
Minzie is very busy but he still takes time to care about the work that I did even though he was frustrated and mad at me. I don't take it personal. He was the one who told me family is priority and I really appreciated that. His last email message to me was "Take care. Family comes first. Always. Good luck. Mz"
I still remembered how I met him the first day where he walked towards me with a handshake and introduced me to many staff there.
Rachel also asked about my mum.

I will always remember the times that I have spent there, even though it was a pretty short one.
I really love this place in Newton.

Never forget about every Tuesdays and Thursdays. Grabbing for fruits to eat! Oh and while stock last! Tian even said that if I am not around, no one is going to help him fight for fruits haha. 

Tian drew these on the banana! Deric, Eunice, angry Suzanne, Priya 

Bought all these from Tioman Island and gave it to Tian, Mei Mei, Minzie, Deric, Sheila 

This was actually given by Denise back then I was in Zenith. But I gave it to Rachel as I didn't use it. Hope she likes! :)

I love the Public Notice Board: Don't let the Poo Poo out the Door.

These are the photos that I have taken during my days in Newton, how I explored during my lunch break and going back home. :)

During my first day, Minzie and Mei Mei brought me for lunch. The second day, I went alone and I saw this. I really wondered what that was. Maybe a plane flew pass.  

I didnt't know I took so much photos! I took a lot in fact! After Newton, it is Orchard. I always headed down to Orchard for lunch. On my way walking down to Orchard, I would always bring my camera so that I could take more photos. 

I didn't know they have an Indo Cafe here but I saw it is pretty costy and the fact that I am not a fact of Indon food.  

Apartments, apartments. Many apartments! Building on the way!  

I went to Far East Plaza. I tried Saveur and Pasta Mania. 

I even went to Goodwood Park Hotel! Oh that was during the period of Mooncake festival! I went in to try some samples also! I love the Cempedak Mooncake! It tastes very good! 

The Mooncakes! They have Maoshan Durian, D24 Durian, Mao Shao Durian, Butter, Cempedak, Pink Guava with Passionfruit, Mango with Pomelo. 

Me :)

Big O Restaurant. Tried the set lunch- Dirty Pork Rice. I didn't really like it but I love their soup!! 

Then Irish Restaurant & Bar. 

I wanted to go to Marche but the food there don't really attract me so as the food here in Irish Restaurant! I just want a good drink. I was pretty depressed, stressed and upset about my life...

Had Screwdriver. The bartender must be feeling weird about me. Drinking in the noon!  

Minzie proposed me to take the bus 518 and I heed his advice. At least it was a good decision that I took instead of taking the MRT everyday! So I took the bus 518 after work everyday and I saw many beautiful scenery. It droves the passengers to Orchard, to Marina Bay Sands and to CBD. The distances were pretty long, I still enjoyed it in fact. But not in the long run. 

Orchard Road 

Dhoby Ghaut

Suntec City

Marina Bay Sands 

I miss you CBD!!! I will be back!!!!!  

Singapore Flyer

I saw the DNA Bridge again. Fayssal, where are you????!  

These cats are always outside of the Newton MRT. Sleeping together, eating together and playing together! They never separated from each other! 

I even headed down to Urban Bites to have my lunch since that was Wednesday. My favourite Lamb and Spinach Stew with Rice. The waitress would never forget to give me onions because I used to be a regular customer there. I could go there everyday just to eat their lunch special meals! And back then it really costed me a lot as the meal is SGD$15 and I had them everyday haha. 

I love their food, but sometimes I dislike their service. They have pretty bad service there due to the amount of customers they have and the amount of staff they recruited! NIGHTMARE. :)))

I took these three shots yesterday whilst waiting for Bus 518. In the end, I have decided not to wait anymore but to take the train back home. The fact that Vahan was affecting me because I care so much and I would be meeting Vahan after that... 

My new life is beginning on Monday. I am hoping for the best.