Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Unconscious decision

Dubai wants me.

I am making a lifetime decision that is going to affect me in the next couple of months and towards the end of the year. No one knows what's going on actually. I wanted to tell Jethro, but I think he gave up. I pushed him away :( So I have no one to talk to now. No more morning love messages anymore. Heinz made me today. Because there was care, it created love. Because there was love, it created give. Maybe we shouldn't have meet. I think I better sort out my life before contacting him again. I don't know though, I guess it would be too late by then. I missed our moments at South Perth.
"That is ok you don't have to apologise because I am stupid. Maybe you just think I am like some girls out there but thank you for telling me the truth, i really appreciate that, thank you. just tell me if you want me to erase all the memories there since they were not true and common out there that people do, and i will never ask you i dont know anymore, if the love now is real or not but it doesn't matter anymore. thank you for the love. and i mentioned i dont really have so much care so you don't have to care for me as well as i dont want it to be a hindrance to you. take good care. " 
Still remembered, I ever told Azmi once I was a slow learner.
It's June finally! Realised I have wasted almost of 1/2 year of 2014.
But hey, March was kind of happy. #TrentNIN

I asked Talan what if one day I don't teach him anymore. He said he would cry. He dreamt about me yesterday when it completely slipped through my mind that I have to teach him. So I went today.

I guess leaving is the only decision to cure my depression.
How do I get myself landed in all these situations?

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