Hello CBD!

I am back to CBD finally.

New job. New work. New task. New life. Rediscovery... Even after a wrong choice... wrong decision...

So I am working inside a skyscraper building now. I even have a welcome sign!

Trying to stay positive. Didn't expect I will be going to River Safari again and it's this Friday!!!!
I went to meet up with Florence today at 100am, didn't expect there was a buffet in the office as well, was planning to go to Pita & Olives, thought it was level one and couldn't find; it is located at level three when I searched again on the web.
I might be going there tomorrow or I might go to The Bank Bar at Asia Square for some vodka. :)
I have been praying a lot. I went to Thian Hock Keng Temple ever since I started my first job there. I already have a feeling there, hence I will still go back to pray.

Fact is, I have been thinking a lot. I will see where life takes me in the upcoming months. The person once cared for me has left, the other one as well. The last one told me he cares from the moment we met, but he doesn't care anymore. He has been too busy occupied with other stuff.
I realised I have been trapped in this African's doctrine that is where I will never get out... Heinz... Fayssal...

Guess what? I am also going back to Marina Bay Sands! I just love the happy moments there that I once shared with Fayssal.
For me, Marina Bay Sands will always be a very special place in my heart.
In fact, I was there yesterday but I forgotten to bring my camera.
I have decided to be bold enough to walk further in to explore the views and the buildings there The Promontory at Marina Bay. I am not sure why the river is pretty polluted and has a strong smell though and I thought I saw fish!

The Promontory towards Marina Bay Sands

OUE Bayfront

Whenever I see these tall buildings, I would look at them and tell myself not to go back as soon as I can. I just want to stay there to look at them as much as I can. The night view is even better I guess or vice versa. The night view showcases the light and the Wonder Full which would reflect from the buildings. In the day, I would be able to see the buildings clearly. 

Wondered if I would be able to stay here someday, after all, there's already a feeling for me in here.

The Sail @ Marina Bay

I saw this beautiful display inside The Shoppes of Louis Vuitton

Not sure if I would have the opportunity to go to Spike Asia this coming Sunday. I am going to ask for it again tomorrow since I already emailed Laura today. Otherwise, I would be deadly depressed. 

Keep thinking

Whenever someone tells me he/she will be going away(whether if it's forever, vacation,), I would get a bit upset as they are leaving me...
As for my side, I do the same all the time, never really understand how they have truly felt and I didn't put myself in their shoes either. Of course they wouldn't want me to go.

Sometimes SMS doesn't have the exact same meaning; leads to many interpretations and misunderstanding.

Greg was telling me he is leaving to the airport and I thought he is leaving here forever. Suddenly, I thought about Konrad and a lot about F. And leads me back to H.

It was raining yesterday and I went to Marina Bay Sands again. It's been awhile after I got back. I missed the place, the view, the scenery, and the feeling especially...

I was telling Greg about the Sikh scam and it happened again to me at MBS again. For twice!

The Sikh Scam- A man whom walked passed you, telling you that you are very lucky today or you have a very lucky face. Then they will ask, "You know why?" ... Long story- Pick a number, this number is a lucky number, because it means your ..., God asked me to look for you etc.
"Now put money inside(his card holder or even a bill holder!)" Normally I will ask. The first time was at Hong Lim Park, that man(later together with his son), said I can put any amount and god will bless me. The second time was at The Shoppes, he said SGD$50 or SGD$60 is OK. I told them I have no money and they said god bless you. I told them I don't believe in god.

I quite believed in what they are trying to say(scam me) however, I was listening to music that day and I don't want to entertain them and I just said thank you and leave immediately whilst taking some photos. I was quite shocked when a chinese man asked me not to walk by myself and if I didn't hear wrongly, he asked me to walk with him and asked where I wanted to go later?! I just said thank you and leave immediately! What a weird Friday...

To be honest, the second one I met at The Shoppes, he said I have a broken heart. And I am pretty sure it was because of F.

The reason why I always go to MBS is because of F. I missed that feeling, I can't define it, but it was once a moment of happiness. I just want that feeling to come back... I hope we could get back someday and talked like we used to...

I still remembered the second time when we met, he asked me for a relationship and I held back. It was because of H. "Heinz, you really not coming back?" That's what I asked...

Since my trip back, I was really exhausted and tired... Found out some news about some ad agencies, wasn't really happy and my work as well... I hope I will get better soon.

I just hope to find someone who is able to care for me and talk to me. I have no one to talk to or even share my feelings with. Used to be Heinz, later F came in but it was a short while. The moment he left, I asked H why did he take away my happiness... I used to be really happy back then when I was with Fayssal... Not now anymore...
He said he will talk to me soon and we could discuss things together once he got everything settled in Dubai and asked me to give him a couple of weeks. He did not contact me again...

I met an american last year. He broke up with his girlfriend because he loves his job and is able to commute to different countries. I asked whether did he contact his ex. He told me when he was here, he did for a while but later not at all. It's not good to hold onto the feeling or commitment(I guess?)

Fayssal, are you the same like him?

H, if you want to take everything back, why can't you take me as well? You know I thought F and I were meant to be. But after you took it, I have decided to stay by your side as I do not want to get hurt anymore and I realised you are the one who truly loves and cares about me back then...

If one day, either one of them need any kind of help, I would help them as much as I could and I wouldn't say no to the both of them...

Happy Birthday to me!

May 15th 2013

So finally, I am officially XX years old today.

H's birthday is on Sunday.

Alors, happy birthday to me! Well I don't really celebrate my birthday- been like this for years now!
In the morning, I was thinking what I was going to do tonight:
-MBS?
-Airport?
-Swim?

I actually did two of the three. I went to MBS for a walk, took some shots and went to the airport to check some flights out. Was around 19h00ish, and it was raining, hence I could not go for a swim, might go on Friday's evening. Hope the weather will be good by then.
I always love MBS. It was once a moment of happiness. Whenever I visited there, it brought back a lot of memories between me and F.

Leaving on Friday, might change to Saturday.
Some shots:

Inside the Shoppes @ MBS

I met Greg today and he got me this(my birthday present haha). Supposed to learn French, ended up on Arabic! Must do well this time round!

He is such a nice guy! Indeed, a smart german! Haha.

First word to remember: Ba!!