My One Month Journey with a Special person

So after I left Newton, I went to Harbourfront to look for Vahan. Also, it was our last meeting I believed... I don't know really.

We went to Keppel Bay Vista just to enjoy the scenery...

That night was really beautiful. Also, it was about to rain and I twisted my ankle and it was hell lot of pain. But nothing beats the one that you love and care was finally leaving soon. I really felt his care towards me even though I knew what he was looking for. He never left me. I thought of spending the night with him but it rained heavily. He watched me went up to the cab and I waved at him. Heavy rain and he cycled back home without an umbrella. I asked whether he would go tomorrow, he told me he was still considering. I didn't ask again, I believe he would... I don't know how to deal with it as well. I wouldn't want him to leave me but I cannot be selfish. I asked if we would be able to meet again and he told me it wouldn't be possible to meet two persons at the same time but we could as good times old friend... So here it goes:

Dear Vahan

I understand that we won't be able to continue this anymore. It also hurts me a lot. Truth that I found out, bothers me a lot. When I wanted to change it, it did not allow and you changed it more quicker than me. Just like Fayssal.
I wish you all the best with the new girl. I wish you all the best in what your looking for.
I will always remember all the happy moments we once shared together.
Our trip to Sentosa, Resort Worlds, Esplanade,Vivocity, seeing animals, eating mooncakes together, attending music concerts together at the Botanic Gardens and NUS to see beautiful Gulnara Mashurova, Tioman Island, Keppel Bay...
Thank you for all these while. Thank you for spending your time with me whilst the time I did not go to Dubai- which I made the wrong decision and met you... Thank you for all the laughters and jokes, the places that I have never been to, things that you taught me and wanted me to be independent... Thank you for the care and share you have once given to me. Thank you for this whole month. It was priceless. I really love days like these and wished it will never stop forever. But as the saying goes, nothing last forever...
I will never forget that. I love you always and you know that.

Maybe your right, I should have listened to you in the first place ever since you sent me that message. Natively, I believed you would change, I believe your not like this.
Talking about change, your right. A person changes when he or she is not satisfied. I understand that your not satisfied with this present.

I have to let you go. I cannot be selfish. I kept looking at my phone, natively thinking you would still care.
You told me the moment we met, you started to care about me, I felt that, but not after the second day in Tioman, because I never give in to what you wanted...

I cherished this friendship a lot... I hope we would still be able to get back someday...

You looked me in the eye. I looked in to your eye. But this wasn't the happiness I was yearning for. I even asked if your Fayssal.

As much as I love you wholeheartedly, as much as I care very much about you wholeheartedly, you found someone and you no longer need me. 
I love you always Vahan. You will always be a very special person in my heart...

Sentosa with Juvi

I went to Palawan beach at Sentosa with Juvi today. Long journey!

Juvi eating his meal.

I held because he saw one of his furry friends!

I love Juvi, he means everything to me! :)

Flying ears!

I just need a break from everything here... Zed called, must be Elcel or Robert. I have sent them an email, as well as Esra. They must be very disappointed, as much as I am...

An acquaintance from Canada told me, "why postpone it if u worked so hard for it this time ?" 
Do you really think I wanted to? As much as they wanted me, and as much as I wanted...
I wanted to cry when I sent them those emails... 

My future's ain't so bright anymore...

They called a couple of times, they really want me...

Last day

Bye Zenith. I know you never like me in but I just want to thank you for all these months.

Experience counts...

Sentosa

I went to Sentosa yesterday for a very long walk. At the same, met a stranger. This stranger is very special to me, after months of dope...

Thinking about Fayssal. Really wondered what he was doing and how celebrated his birthday. Did he really celebrate or he has been busy with work?

I am sure he enjoys long walk. We did it once in Marina Bay Sands to Fullerton Hotel. I really missed those moments... I wondered about Heinz as well...

This is one of the statues by Salvador Dali inside Resorts World Sentosa.

He taught me how to shoot a photo properly in the night...

Spizza's Review

So I went out for lunch with my team to Spizza.

Located at: 29 Club St, Singapore 069414

Nice location, quiet, less crowd; partly it's expensive for the crowds I presumed.

Ordered my favourite mushroom soup! But why is it so blended and tasteless?! Hence we rejected them. Maybe they added too much water and till the taste was gone!

Pizzas were alright. Unique thing about the pizzas are, each of these pizzas has their own Names on it! Claudia, Anna, Gina ... etc.

We ordered Quinta, Rebecca(why no chillis?!), Tara, Vittoria, Claudia, Calamasi, and drinks.

Pretty much love their pizzas, especially all those whom have got mushrooms inside! I really love the fresh mushrooms!

The calamasi is really chewy and tender!!

My laptop's down, no photos to post, will update soon!

Keep thinking

Whenever someone tells me he/she will be going away(whether if it's forever, vacation,), I would get a bit upset as they are leaving me...
As for my side, I do the same all the time, never really understand how they have truly felt and I didn't put myself in their shoes either. Of course they wouldn't want me to go.

Sometimes SMS doesn't have the exact same meaning; leads to many interpretations and misunderstanding.

Greg was telling me he is leaving to the airport and I thought he is leaving here forever. Suddenly, I thought about Konrad and a lot about F. And leads me back to H.

It was raining yesterday and I went to Marina Bay Sands again. It's been awhile after I got back. I missed the place, the view, the scenery, and the feeling especially...

I was telling Greg about the Sikh scam and it happened again to me at MBS again. For twice!

The Sikh Scam- A man whom walked passed you, telling you that you are very lucky today or you have a very lucky face. Then they will ask, "You know why?" ... Long story- Pick a number, this number is a lucky number, because it means your ..., God asked me to look for you etc.
"Now put money inside(his card holder or even a bill holder!)" Normally I will ask. The first time was at Hong Lim Park, that man(later together with his son), said I can put any amount and god will bless me. The second time was at The Shoppes, he said SGD$50 or SGD$60 is OK. I told them I have no money and they said god bless you. I told them I don't believe in god.

I quite believed in what they are trying to say(scam me) however, I was listening to music that day and I don't want to entertain them and I just said thank you and leave immediately whilst taking some photos. I was quite shocked when a chinese man asked me not to walk by myself and if I didn't hear wrongly, he asked me to walk with him and asked where I wanted to go later?! I just said thank you and leave immediately! What a weird Friday...

To be honest, the second one I met at The Shoppes, he said I have a broken heart. And I am pretty sure it was because of F.

The reason why I always go to MBS is because of F. I missed that feeling, I can't define it, but it was once a moment of happiness. I just want that feeling to come back... I hope we could get back someday and talked like we used to...

I still remembered the second time when we met, he asked me for a relationship and I held back. It was because of H. "Heinz, you really not coming back?" That's what I asked...

Since my trip back, I was really exhausted and tired... Found out some news about some ad agencies, wasn't really happy and my work as well... I hope I will get better soon.

I just hope to find someone who is able to care for me and talk to me. I have no one to talk to or even share my feelings with. Used to be Heinz, later F came in but it was a short while. The moment he left, I asked H why did he take away my happiness... I used to be really happy back then when I was with Fayssal... Not now anymore...
He said he will talk to me soon and we could discuss things together once he got everything settled in Dubai and asked me to give him a couple of weeks. He did not contact me again...

I met an american last year. He broke up with his girlfriend because he loves his job and is able to commute to different countries. I asked whether did he contact his ex. He told me when he was here, he did for a while but later not at all. It's not good to hold onto the feeling or commitment(I guess?)

Fayssal, are you the same like him?

H, if you want to take everything back, why can't you take me as well? You know I thought F and I were meant to be. But after you took it, I have decided to stay by your side as I do not want to get hurt anymore and I realised you are the one who truly loves and cares about me back then...

If one day, either one of them need any kind of help, I would help them as much as I could and I wouldn't say no to the both of them...

Happy Birthday to me!

May 15th 2013

So finally, I am officially XX years old today.

H's birthday is on Sunday.

Alors, happy birthday to me! Well I don't really celebrate my birthday- been like this for years now!
In the morning, I was thinking what I was going to do tonight:
-MBS?
-Airport?
-Swim?

I actually did two of the three. I went to MBS for a walk, took some shots and went to the airport to check some flights out. Was around 19h00ish, and it was raining, hence I could not go for a swim, might go on Friday's evening. Hope the weather will be good by then.
I always love MBS. It was once a moment of happiness. Whenever I visited there, it brought back a lot of memories between me and F.

Leaving on Friday, might change to Saturday.
Some shots:

Inside the Shoppes @ MBS

I met Greg today and he got me this(my birthday present haha). Supposed to learn French, ended up on Arabic! Must do well this time round!

He is such a nice guy! Indeed, a smart german! Haha.

First word to remember: Ba!!