Wednesday, July 3, 2013


Lost, super lost.
H, tell me what I am supposed to do. 
F, the last day we met, have you already resigned? You misplaced your phone in the hotel, was it a lie? Did you actually give it back to the office? 
If that was not the end from your side, how long do I have to wait? Am I waiting for you or am I waiting for H? And you said I was your girl? 
I thought we could discuss in details when you told me your there, but I didn't hear any news from you after that. I tried to email you, and an email from your contact. I still got no news.
Were all these months that we had spent meeting together all lies? 

I am leaving next month. Not sure where I am going. Not sure where life will lead me.

In late March, I thought I would be heading to SME. I was asking the Creator, did it really want me to go there? After all, I took the lead and head to MNC. All I got in return for those five months were stressed, tired, and dread. But I always believe in life, we have a choice.
After all, it wasn't what I was looking for and what I wanted. But still, I got into this MNC which I am still working there now. 
I love all the fun activities that are organised by the committee members.
However at the same time, I have met and experienced many types of faces. 
There are kinds, friendlies, helpful, fakes, two-faced. Be it online or offline. They are the same.  
My life and my mind started to change quite a lot ever since I entered the world of MNC.  
Whether I regret it or not?
The answer is definitely No. It's part of my future. 

I always see people with their friends or partners happily together. 
I wondered when could I ever experience all these(again)... That's my definition of happiness- being together happily in a relationship with someone you love, the person you most want to be with...

I was at Urban Bites last Monday. Saw a guy that looked similar F again. The other time at Tanjong Beach with Sasha, I saw another guy, I was thinking were they the same person, that looked similar to F.
He was with a lady talking about some projects that they have been working on, guessed she was from Taiwan. This man...I am guessing he was from The States. He asked her about her weekend, and how did she find the food there etc.
Don't know why. I just missed F. The words that this man has said to her, his skin, his body, not exactly his voice,  but it's a feeling. Je ne sais quoi. 
I wondered how is he doing...

Noticed it's the FIFA World Cup in Brazil now. Remembered how I have known H after the FIFA World Cup in SA ended...

I am trapped in these two persons' dogma... H the most... 

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