Random thoughts again

A bit drunk. Normally I have screwdrivers with plenty of vodkas. Sometimes it's a 1/4 orange juice and and sometimes it's a 1/2.

I just had Sprite and vodka with a 1/2. Pretty drunk, pretty bad, pretty sober, pretty lethargic whilst typing.

I really don't know why I kept dreaming about Vahan. He doesn't even want or bother to contact me and yet I still think of him, our happy moments and even dreamt of him daily... I just want this friendship back... I don't even dare to text him because I was afraid of the answer.

And I don't even know where Heinz is and Fayssal. Heinz doesn't even care about me anymore I guess. Fayssal the same as well.

Even on the train, I saw people using iphones to watsapp their friends, logged onto Facebook to chat with their friends, and I am just listening to music and thinking. I guess I am going to be alone forever...

I haven't find myself yet... Reasons why I have been out lately to all these attractions were because I want to find myself. I even prayed to ask for signals and doing some soul searching. Sometimes even doing the same routine, over and over again. Hoping things will change and be back the same. Not sure whether will it happen again...

My teacher has always wanted me to be contented, grateful and thankful for what I have. Heinz taught me these life experiences as well.

I have been listening to Mad Season, too much of them that I forgotten about Nine Inch Nails. To be honest, Trent launched his new album and I was pretty excited. As soon as I listened to his new full album, I really don't know what he was singing about. It was like getting bad-er :( I don't know, maybe I will listen to him someday again. He has changed... But I have not...

Trying to run away again. I don't know whether I should or not.. Haven't made up my mind yet...